OUR REGULAR GAME NO. 4

               As we approach the end of the year, it’s a good time to take stock of our favorite game.  After all, this is a game in which our bad shots far outnumber our good ones, making us unhappy much more often than happy, yet we still love it with a passion normally reserved for God, country, and family. 

           But if you think about it, there are any number of reasons to love golf besides the occasional good shot, and that’s the subject of this week’s regular game.

           First and foremost, golf has no Bowl Championship Series, or BCS, as they call it.  Thank God.  There’s no Roy Kramer, or whatever his name is, trying to unlevel the playing field in favor of some players against others.  If the PGA Tour were run like college football, some players would get strokes shaved off their scores just because they played at a certain college or came from a particular conference. 

           But fortunately for us all, golf is a game of integrity.  You don’t get points for form.  Everyone plays the same course, and the winner is the guy who gets his ball in the hole in the fewest strokes, regardless of race, color, sexual orientation, or conference affiliation.

           Second, golf’s “Silly Season” — that end-of-the-year series of unofficial tournaments like the Skins Game, Three Tours Challenge, and the like — is much better than preseason exhibition games in football or spring training games in baseball.

           Third, our golfing heroes play forever.  Look at Arnold Palmer.  He’s still out there, and those of us who have adored him since he won his first Masters in 1958 still get to see him play.  Why, in recent weeks, Arnie’s beaten Jack Nicklaus on Shell’s Wonderful World of Golf and Gary Player in the UBS Warburg Cup matches.  In both cases, the golf was still good.  Imagine watching a bunch of Social Security age ex-football players trying that.  It would get pretty ugly in a hurry.  I suppose that’s why there’s no Senior NFL or NBA.

           Third, golf has better tradition than any other game, mainly because it doesn’t have designated hitters, instant replay, or three-point shots.  Golf is all about major championships.  Even the youngest of these events, the Masters, started over 65 years ago, and the oldest one, the British Open, was first played the year before the Civil War started.  And, for the players, it’s all about getting their names engraved on one of those trophies.

           Sure, they get a nice check, too, but even that’s chump change compared to the guaranteed contracts in the other professional sports.  Which brings up the fourth best thing about golf compared to other games: There are no guaranteed contracts or players’ unions.  So there are no renegotiated contracts or players’ strikes, thank goodness.

           In golf, you eat what you kill.  If you don’t play well, you don’t make the cut, which usually means you don’t make a dime.  No one pays for your air fare, your hotel, your meals.  There’s no per diem in golf.  Each player must produce or perish.  It’s the essential game of capitalism — pure Americana at its best.

           Oh, and one last thing: Golfers call penalties on themselves.  Not just every once in awhile, but all the time, including in the heat of competition, when major championships are on the line.  It would be unthinkable for a real golfer not to call a penalty, even if no one else noticed.

           Can you imagine John McEnroe telling a line judge that a shot he called out on the other player was really in?  Or a football player telling the referee that he really didn’t catch that pass, but actually trapped it instead?

           Yeah, it’s the time of year to be grateful for the good things in life, and golf is definitely one of the good things in life.

           Until next time, this is Mike Veron for our regular game, hoping every putt breaks just the way you read it.

   About the Author

J. Michael Veron is the acclaimed author of The Greatest Player Who Never Lived and The Greatest Course That Never Was. His third novel, tentatively titled The Caddie, is scheduled for release in the spring of 2002.

Mike's work has earned him the title of "master of fiction" from USA Today, and Travel and Leisure Golf Magazine has called him "The John Grisham of Golf." In addition, the New York Times hailed The Greatest Player as "Golf's Literary Rookie of the Year," and the Seattle Times ranked The Greatest Player as second on its all-time list of "Five Wonderful Golf Books." At one time, The Greatest Player and The Greatest Course were the first and third best-selling sports fiction in the country.

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